By Nina M. Riccio

Looking for a vacation destination to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary? It's safe to say most of us wouldn't even dream of going to Haiti, the poorest country in the western hemisphere. Then again, Jeanie and Tom Tisdale aren't like most of us.

"We wanted to celebrate in a way that recognized the two things that had changed our lives the most: having children, and our trips to Haiti to work with Doug (Perlitz '92) at the Pierre Toussaint Village," explains Tom.

In their student days at Fairfield, Jeanie (Schratweiser '80) and Tom '78 never went on mission trips - there were none, they say - but it's clear that each absorbed the Jesuit message of becoming "men and women for others." For years, they've maintained a close friendship with University Chaplain Paul Carrier, S.J., who officiated at their wedding and baptized their two sons. They met Perlitz when he was a student and came with a friend to baby-sit for their oldest son Kyle, now 17. Years later, when Perlitz went to Haiti and started the program for boys living on the streets, they became avid supporters of his efforts.

"I remember the first time Doug came back to campus and spoke at Mass," says Tom. "He asked for sneakers. Just used sneakers of any size. Instead of collecting a handful of old sneakers, Doug left with hundreds of brand new ones. That's typical of the way the Fairfield community has responded."

Doug's work has moved the Tisdales so much that one of them has gone to Haiti almost every year to visit and volunteer. "Haiti literally assaults every one of your senses," says Jeanie, recalling her shock when she first stepped off the plane. "The stench, the noise, the poverty. Thank heavens I was with a group from the University, because they helped me to move beyond numbness and see the warmth of the people. That's what gave me the courage to stay."

The Tisdale boys - Kyle and Gavin, 14 - have grown up hearing about the Village and, once their parents suggested holding their anniversary celebration there, were eager to visit. That's not to say they weren't nervous, too. "We prepped them for a year about the absolute poverty they'd be seeing," says Jeanie. "You can tell them only so many times about how lucky they are and how much they have, but going to Haiti spoke more than anything we could have said." Their parents also stipulated that the boys raise money for the trip, which they did by soliciting their school communities and working a series of jobs.

When the family, along with Fr. Carrier, made it to Cap Haitien last May, it took Kyle and Gavin several days to be able to speak about the poverty they saw. "Driving to the Village, we passed thousands of shacks. To be clear, these are 6 by 8 and 4 by 4 (feet) - some made of concrete block or old wood, or simple frames covered in cloth. No toilets, no sewers, no electricity, no running water, no plants or trees - nothing to soothe the eye," says Jeanie. "We pulled into the Pierre Toussaint Village and the contrast was striking. Gavin described it aptly as 'a garden in hell.'" Once there, Kyle and Gavin "communicated in the universal language of soccer, basketball, and music," says Fr. Carrier, who watched them jam with their peers using homemade drumsticks and water-bucket drums.

By all accounts, the anniversary celebration itself was memorable and moving. "Many of these kids don't know their fathers," says Jeanie, "so the whole idea of a 25th anniversary was foreign to them and a great teaching opportunity for Doug." He translated the ceremony into Creole so as to give the 60 boys, ages 6 to 18, a lesson on love and commitment. All feasted afterward on rice, beans, and chicken.

Being part of the Fairfield community is what made the trip happen - and made it so special. "It's wonderful to come full circle like this," says Fr. Carrier. "Who would have thought 25 years ago, when Jeanie and Tom were students, that we'd be celebrating their anniversary, with their children, in Haiti?"