“I don’t think so” was what Jen Harding, P’26 thought when a friend suggested she try spiritual direction. “I thought I would have imposter syndrome and that the people at the Murphy Center would think I wasn’t ‘religious enough’ for it,” admitted the mother of five who lives in town. “I didn’t really understand what it was.”
Eventually, Harding’s curiosity won out and she decided to give it a shot. From the moment she entered the quiet, soothing atmosphere of the Murphy Center for her first one-on-one session with a spiritual director, she knew she’d found something special. “It’s like a slice of heaven over there,” she said.
Years of spiritual direction later, “Jen is our troubadour,” said Fr. Donoghue.
“I’m a lifer,” agreed Harding with a smile. “Ignatian Spirituality has changed me in so many ways. My spiritual director describes herself as ‘a mirror for you to help you look at yourself,’ and that’s what she is for me: a person to help me be a better me. I’m grateful to everyone who told me about the Murphy Center — they gave me a gift, and now it’s my gift to other people. If I am friends with you, or even just friendly with you, I’m going to talk to you about the Murphy Center. It’s just such a beautiful place and if I’ve contributed even a tiny bit by spreading the word, lucky me.”
Chrissa Ventrelle and her family relocated from Las Vegas, Nev., to Fairfield County a little over two years ago. “We moved on short notice, and I was really worried about everybody settling into this new place with no friends or family nearby,” said the mother of three whose professional background is in nonprofit management and philanthropy. “Before we arrived, I felt I needed an anchor — a place to look forward to that had some sort of spiritual programming, where I could maybe meet some people.”
An online search introduced Ventrelle to the Murphy Center. “The first thing I participated in was an Advent Retreat for Women — my heart was so filled that night because there was such warmth in the room,” she said.
Shortly thereafter, Ventrelle began one-on-one spiritual direction despite only a cursory awareness of Ignatian teachings. She quickly found that there was no minimum level of knowledge or beliefs required. “What’s happening through the Murphy Center is that women are being given the gift to talk with another person about whatever is going on in their lives,” she said, “and that person is helping them to see the threads of God in those everyday experiences.”
“Before spiritual direction, my faith felt like just one item on the plate of my day,” Ventrelle explained. “But now, faith has become the plate itself — everything else rests upon it and is supported by what was once just a part of the whole.”
Her experience as a directee has been so profound that Ventrelle, who was recently appointed chief philanthropy officer of Catholic Charities of Connecticut, is training to become a spiritual director herself. She’s halfway through the Murphy Center’s two-year Spiritual Director Formation certificate program and will graduate with her cohort of 16 aspiring directors next December.
It is particularly satisfying for Fr. Donoghue and Haley to see the Murphy Center experience come full circle for women like Harding and Ventrelle. “We think that we are doing something new here, but really, the vibrancy and the life of the Church has always rested on women in one way or another,” said Haley. “At the Murphy Center, women are just continuing to say yes to the invitation to come together and let God’s love and light break through in a world where there’s a lot of darkness.”
